love is not blind-it sees more not less. but because it sees more it is willing to see less

my dad

i really like him. he's funny. i love my dad. he makes me laugh every day. i definitely know that when i get married, i wanna marry someone like my dad. i think he's such a wonderful husband and he's the best dad ever. so cliche. but i love my dad. i'm such a daddy's girl. he treats my mom like a princess, i hate it. but i want MY husband to treat me the same exact way. he always kisses up to my mom, "oh your cooking is the BEST it's soo good blah blah blah" freakin old man. he's so corny. he tries to make jokes and then he laughs after and we know that he's been thinking about making that joke for a good 20minutes. he does the dishes, the laundry, everything i love him. he wants to make sure my mom feels loved from us. once i brought home a sandwich and asked if he wanted some and he said real quietly infront of my mom, oh it looks good i'm sure your mom wants a piece maybe you should ask her. knowing it'd make her happy that i offered her. i love him. which is why i don't mind at all pitching in for rent and bills. i love my daddy<3

i miss...

i miss feeling loved
feeling wanted by someone
i miss that boyfriend girlfriend feeling
i miss feeling completely in love
i miss caring for someone
i miss feeling the way songs used to make me feel
i miss having someone who always cares about stupid little things
i miss having someone to text when something stupid happens
i miss holding hands
i miss hugging
i miss kissing
i miss laying together and watching tv
i miss the way you made me feel
i miss fighting and then laughing about it after because we realize we forgot what we were fighting about..
i miss putting eyeliner on during a fight to piss you off even more
i miss riding shotgun complaining about how much i hate your music even though that's all i listen to now..
i miss always getting shotgun regardless
fuck september 26th.

i've never been so stressed. and this is the one time that i can't tell my sister.
this is too much on me. this is too much for me.

i'm one to say "love everyone"
but fuck it, if you have a reason to hate someone
proceed.
just don't hate for no reason.

i feel the most secure without make up.
i feel self conscious with make up

i feel the most like myself with him.
i feel like i'm missing something without him.

it'll always go back to him.

LOL :) LOL :)
HEHE I LOVE YOU KIMMY NGUYEN
LOL :) LOL :)

social life?

i don't have one. i don't really care for one is what i've realized. i'm only 18, but i don't care for meeting people, i'm just not social or don't care to be. i'm too busy. sure, they can make a "difference" in my life, but i really don't care because regardless...i know exactly what i want to do with my life, and i am content with my life, maybe not with every little aspect but those can't be fixed. at least, not by anyone new, not by going out, not by doing anything but waiting i guess. i ate with gene last night and told him what i was up to and realized that i really just don't care about going out because i don't feel productive. i told him the only times i enjoy going out is to either eat or go shopping. i do enjoy being around my friends but, i just can't stand doing nothing sometimes and i can't stand being away from work or schoolwork. if it's less fun than me staying at home watching tv or reading a book then please, don't. i'd rather be working. i'd rather be reading. i'd rather do homework. i just don't care about going out or having a social life because even if i meet new people and make friends they won't there for me when i need them or be there in the far future. and i enjoy stability so i'd rather not waste my time.

vent vent vent for a cent

arrogant small minded judgmental people are whats wrong with this world. arrogant small minded judgmental people who claim to be such goody goody christians who are supposed to love all yet belittle those who arent the same way they are are whats wrong with the world. i understand people's reasoning behind not liking tila nguyen. but atleast i try to see their viewpoint, unlike some who make assumptions and don't care to see why i like her. no i don't know her personally but because of how she is i feel like i do. because of what she does. idc how stupid that sounds. but i try my best not to be a judgmental asshole. arrogant small minded judgmental assholes are the reason why i barely ever go to church. they're all such hypocrites. you praise God and go to church every week, but what do you actually teach your children. just to go to church every week? do you teach them to be open minded and accept others? do you teach them to not judge people? do you teach them to love everyone regardless of their sexual orientation or lifestyle? do you teach them to love everyone even if maybe they've made some mistakes in their life? doubt it.

sorry

Baby your pictures still hangin up on my wall
And I still get butterflies hoping that you might call
There are thoughts in the corners of my mind
I remember what it was, to be completely in love
And you told me to give my heart away and start over brand new
It wasn't working between us you couldn't love me like I needed you to
But there are things that you don't forget
I would give my last to get in your head did you know
How much I think about you, still...
But it's hard to believe it's still so fresh on my brain
Some days how I feel, you'd think we broke up yesterday
But now so many things have changed
Who's got your heart these days, I wish for you the best of everything
But still you don't understand
Because I never thought I'd see the day there was no you
Was like the ending of a sad movie couldn't get through
And there are so many things that you don't know about me
You thought that I was so unmoved
And you thought I didn't care
You could still call me sometimes just to say "Hello"
I know that you've assumed
That I'm still mad at you
There was a memory you're still apart of me
I bet you didn't know that you're still on my mind
I bet you didn't know that thoughts of you make me cry

i think it depends on the relationship, no it's never easy to get over a relationship, depending on how much they meant to you. i know what kind of girl i am, i know i may be annoying because i haven't gotten over it, but have you ever thought that maybe i'm in more pain that you can imagine? i've had two relationships, i got over the first one. it's not because i'm that type of girl who just cries and cries forever over a relationship, because i've gotten over one of them. and it's simple to say that my relationship with kevin did impact me but it didn't hurt me. i got over it, especially the second time around, i was just over it. but it's been a year...and it's still hard for me. i don't know why...you can tell me to watch a movie because it'll help me or something but whether it helps me or not, the pain is still there. i can try to get my mind off things by working and going to school, but every day of my life since we've broken up i'm still hurt. it's simple to say that he just hurt me. and i cry because i'm hurt, not because i'm not with him. it's just he hurt me. so sorry if i'm that annoying girl who is still hung up on her ex. i'm sorry that he made me better and beelive in myself and gave me comfort to do what i wanted to do with my future because he knew me better than anyone.

life is hard

for the first time in my life, i'm not saving up for anything. how long will it last? who knows but better to be happy with it
but, having 600$ extra?! i dont even want to spend it because i know that eventually i'll need it..life is HARD :) hahaha
life IS hard, when i'm working for money that i don't even have time to spend :|